{DEEPER COMPASSION} // Here’s a crazy idea, one that might challenge you a bit:
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What if we made an agreement to believe that all of us, (that includes ourselves!), are always doing the best we can in each moment, with the tools, life circumstances, awareness and resources available to us?
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Let me be clear: sometimes we sabotage, act destructively, hurt others or ourselves, or make poor choices. Sometimes the ways we or others act is not okay, healthy, or motivated by the 'Wise Mind' or our 'Highest Selves'. Assuming that we are doing our best doesn’t mean that we don’t hold others, and most importantly, ourselves, accountable for our actions and the impact of our actions and take responsibility for our choices.
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What this means is that sometimes our maladaptive or hurtful defenses drive our behavior, but that’s because we don’t have healthier defenses to use in their place. It means that sometimes we are hurting and we don’t know how to support ourselves or ask for help, and so we act out. It means that sometimes we are so stressed, or under so much strain or overwhelm, that our resources are limited and we do what we can with when with what we are able to access in that moment. And it might not look like our best, but it is.
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And here’s why I’ll challenge you to make this agreement: moving though the world from this place allows us to access a trove of self-compassion for ourselves, and all the ways that we think we are flawed, damaged or broken. And, from this place of self-compassion, it’s a natural impulse to more readily extend this compassion to others. Because what the world needs, I think, is more of us willing to give each other the benefit of the doubt while staying accountable to the ways we can improve for next time.
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