{AUTHENTIC CONNECTION} // Why is it so hard to make new friendships as adults? Is it actually, logistically difficult, or is this a story we tell ourselves (and each other) to excuse ourselves from stepping into vulnerable, uncomfortable waters in the hopes of forging new connections? Do we stick with the belief that making new friends is "hard" so we don't have to try it and risk rejection?
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Part of where we get stuck is that making friends as an adult is *different* than making them at younger stages. As adults, our life's priorities often have shifted from building in-person social networks to a focus on career advancement, partnering or growing a family.
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Research tells us that we are social creatures, hard-wired to benefit biologically, cognitively, physically and spiritually from connection with others; so how do we go about building authentic and lasting bonds?
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Start with asking yourself where "your people" hang out...identify where you are likely to meet other like-minded individuals and challenge yourself to try something new by going to one of these spaces. Feeling like a "beginner" or a "newbie" might be uncomfortable, but it's a great way to start conversation...and hey- you're leading with authenticity, which is a fabulous friendship building block.
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Remember that you don't have to start fresh; what about rekindling friendships with people you've enjoyed in the past and have fallen out of touch with? With a shared history and connection, this takes some of the edgy vulnerability out of "courting" new friends.
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Lastly, try an examination of what gets "in the way" when thinking of developing new friendships. Is it fear of approaching strangers? An unwillingness to leave the comfort of your home? Or something deeper...a feeling of unworthiness; "I'm not enough", past betrayals in friendship that have been hard to move past or risk of future rejection? Sorting through and letting go of some of these stories or beliefs may help to free up your capacity to connect with others.
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