{WORKING WITH THE CRITIC} // I'd venture to say that all of us have a running monologue happening in the back of our minds throughout the day. You know, the peanut gallery commentary on everything you do, how you look, what others might be thinking, and more. And often, that voice can be critical, unkind or downright nasty. • What I'd like to remind you, however, is that this voice, your Inner Critic, isn't You. You are not your thoughts. It's a PART of you, an overdeveloped defense mechanism that's actually trying to keep you safe. Your critic's logic might be something like, "Hey, I'll ensure that you have the best chance of being loved/accepted/included/successful by motivating you with negativity and being harsh to you so others won't have to be". This might not sound logical, but the Critic keeps this up because it's probably worked in the past. • When we are able to recognize the Critic as a separate PART, by externalizing it and even giving it a name (a great strategy one on my clients shared!), we can actively engage with it without being run by it. We can practice a bit of Self Compassion. • Try this: next time your Critic acts up, rather than BELIEVING this voice, speak directly to it in a way that recognizes it's intention, but makes room for a more loving interpretation of the situation: "Hey, Cruella, I know you're trying to protect me, and I appreciate that, but your input isn't necessary right now. I'm struggling and a bit frustrated at the moment, and that's ok, it's a part of life. Do you feel a bit more space, a little more in control and optimistic? The truth is, we take bigger risks and grow more when we motivate ourselves with kindness rather than criticism. • So...what will you name your critic?
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